Thursday, September 17, 2009

Season Premiere: Survivor. It's like Christmas Eve!

There are a few days in every year that I really, really...really look forward to. These are days that are circled on my calender from the moment the date has been announced. Here they are, in no particular order:

Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Baseball Tournament Day, "American Birthday Celebration" (family gathering in Aug.), "American Thanksgiving" (family gathering in Nov.), "American Christmas" (family gathering in Jan.) AND,

The Season Premiere of Survivor

I LOVE Survivor and...I get my fix twice a year! It is the only show on television that I actually set aside time to watch. Tonight...is Survivor Samoa. Survivor #19. NINETEEN! The first episode aired on May 31, 2000. That means my seven-year old son has not known a world without Survivor. It also means that going to my parent's home to watch the show, has been a weekly tradition for my entire married life. Incredible.

Now, although I did watch Season 1, it was only in passing, and I can only recall pieces of it. But from the moment Season 2 began...I was HOOKED! For the first three months, every Thursday was like a piece of Heaven. Until...April 26, 2001. I call it "Black Thursday". Is it really any surprise that it was Episode #13? On that evening, around 8:45pm, I was huddled on my parent's couch, clutching a pillow in my arms, watching the final moments of the Final Four Tribal Council, when the unthinkable happened. The tribe had spoken once again and...Elisabeth's torch was snuffed out.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My blood curdling scream was probably heard for miles. Not my Elisabeth! Not now! Not ever! And definitely not before Keith, the Chef! I was devastated.

Let the whole world know: Elisabeth Filarski (now Mrs. Hasselbeck on The View) was my first Survivor crush! And 16 episodes later...she remains my ONLY Survivor crush.

I'm sure casting has tried to find the next Elisabeth, but to this point, they have failed to do so because...well, she is irreplaceable. She also sits high on my list of celebrity crushes that I'd like to meet. Next week I'll reveal the list.

Anyways, it wasn't just Elisabeth. I love everything about Survivor.

I'm a watcher and studier of people, so I am intrigued by the social interaction and dynamics that are involved.

Since, I'm a thinker, I love that, although it is an incredibly physical game, muscles don't guarantee success. It is a chess game played in an athletic arena.

Being a lover and student of film & television, I am amazed at the sheer magnitude of the production behind it all.

As a competitor, I am engaged by the wide variety of team and individual challenges.

And...I love Jeff Probst, Survivor's iconic host. At the same time, I am also incredibly jealous of him. He holds one of the two best jobs in the entire world (Ryan Seacrest, of American Idol, holds the other). These are by far the sweetest gigs around.

If I can't be host of Survivor, then I want to be a contestant! I had the form all filled out a few years ago, but then I read the small print. "Only American residents need apply". I've since discovered that all the good reality shows have that same rule of eligibility. Personally, I think it's a conspiracy to keep me out...so I don't clean up!

Now, once I get my papers for Dual Citizenship (which I am eligible for), and Heidi agrees to move to the U.S. (which she is considering), then it will be time to unfold my MASTER PLAN.

First, I send in my three-minute Survivor audition video. An absolutely awesome piece of work it will be. Second, I accept my invitation to the show. And then, once on the show...it plays out like this: Day one on the island, I put together an irritating streak like no other contestant has been able to achieve before. Why? Because plan "A" is to be voted out...first.

Now, if I just lost you...hear me out. You see, if I get voted out, they can't send me home or else people will know I got kicked off, so I think they keep the "non-winners" out there, somewhere. So, I figure, by getting voted out #1, instead of having to spend a month eating gross things, pulling muscles and sleeping beside grumpy, smelly people...I get to go on vacation.

But that's not the best part. After my vacation, when the show airs, my name and picture will appear in millions of households every Thursday for months! AND, in the live reunion episode, Jeff always addresses the winner as well as...the 1st person voted off. Uh huh! It is then that I take a moment to publicly thank America for my 15 minutes of a fame!

It would be awesome, unless you're my wife, who thinks that this is a really bad...stupid, plan. She thinks a million dollars is worth more than 15 minutes of fame. So, we've just agreed not to talk about my plan anymore. It just gets her all irritated.

Some people have asked, "But, what if you don't get kicked off first?" That's a real good question and the answer is simple. If, for some reason, I manage to survive the first tribal council then...I just turn on the social charm and win the whole thing! Simple as that! Survivor was built for Timmy!

So, tonight...you know where I'll be. I'll be watching Survivor 19. Looking for the next Elisabeth, wishing I was Jeff Probst, and dreaming of the day that I'm on the TV, not just in front of it.

Have a good one,
Timmy

4 comments:

  1. I am irritated by Elizabeth since her final speech on Survivor, and cannot even watch Survivor or The View!!! I don't remember exactly what she said, but until that time I liked her almost as much as someone with a Survivor Crush, and then lost all respect for her.
    ♥And you love her♥
    I do however look forward to American Celebrations with huge anticipation despite things like human hurdles!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know what she said either...I was too busy staring dreamily

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tim, I have no idea you were such a fan. I have to say that I love the show too. I am torn this year because Frank wants me to go to a Bible study on Thursday. He has no idea what he is really asking me!!!! It is nice to know that someone else understands how I feel about Survior.

    Tammy L

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tape it and watch it later...it's always better without the commercials.

    But, I do feel your pain Tammy.

    ReplyDelete

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