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“INSIDE TIMMY’S MIND”…THE BOOK.
Anyways, as of today, a person will be ticketed if found to be driving a vehicle while doing any number of other activities, simultaneously (this includes putting on lip stick and changing your clothes). Basically, it is now being declared that "driving" is not a "multi-tasking" task. Hmmm. Interesting.
Now, this isn't a new concept, folks. It's just an old concept, resurrected. You see, there was a time...long ago - probably when dinosaurs and cars travelled the highways together - that people drove with both hands on the wheel and their eyes on the road.
Yes kids...it's true. Both hands and both eyes.
Now, I know that maneuvering a 3,000 lb. hunk of metal, at high speeds, in and out of other massive speeding hunks of metal, doesn't sound like you need both hands and both eyes...but you do.
Somewhere along the line, the test for ultimate competence changed from "chew gum and walk", to "text-message and drive". As a result, the stakes have now become higher. In a previous generation, if you wanted to prove yourself worthy, the only risk was choking on some gum. Now, the risk is multi-car collisions resulting in fatalities.
Now, I am not about to plead complete innocence in this matter - I may have answered a phone call or two. But, I certainly have never counted myself among the extreme cases - driving while texting, drinking a hot coffee, watching a movie, and blow drying one's hair.
Regardless, as of today, I will abide by this new law...not simply because it's a law, but because it actually just makes sense!
I can't think of any time where I really needed to call anyone, while physically driving. And, I barely answer the phone at home, so why would I need to answer it on the road?
Isn't driving dangerous enough, as it is? Why increase my odds for an accident by choosing to add an unnecessary distraction into the mix. Is risking my life, and the lives of others, worth sending that text about the funny license plate I just read...and am now crashing into. I don't think so.
With so many brutal drivers on the road, I rewrite my Will every time I get in my car. But, then again, maybe if everyone adhered to this "law"...there wouldn't be so many "brutal" drivers.
I know there are many people out there who will respond to this legislation with the words, "Blah, blah, blah!" They feel that it's a silly rule, because they are "awesome" drivers, that are more than capable to pull off this multi-tasking stunt. To those people I offer this caution: "Blah, blah, blah" has been the famous last words of many others who have gone before you. It is often translated as "It'll never happen to me".
It's actually a shame that the "Hands-free device only" law needed to be made into a law, in the first place. But, I guess when people stop making wise judgement calls on their own, laws have to be put instituted for them.
We live in a 24-7, hyper-speed, multi-tasking, instant gratification culture. I believe that, by it's very nature, this culture has forced the law into existence. I think the demands of our culture leave most people feeling like they are too busy to waste their travel time on just "driving". And, it's really quite sad.
Some say, "Life moves too fast, you gotta keep up". I say, "Whatever!"
It's time to stop adapting to our culture and start shaping our culture. Don't try to keep up...instead, slow down the pace. The truth, "Speed kills" applies just as much to culture as it does to cars. Our culture is moving at a break-neck speed, and it's killing - literally - those who feel the need to maintain their velocity.
If we don't start touching the breaks, soon...we are done as a society. People simply aren't wired for speed. But, you can't just slam on the breaks, because that can be just as deadly. It's going to take little pumps.
This means, that although, you might not be able to slow down the hectic pace of point A and point B, you can pump the brake by slowing down between those points. If home is wild and crazy and work is stupid fast, then make the journey from home to work (or vice versa) a time to recuperate and re-energize. Put down the blackberry and turn off the phone. You can start up life again when you arrive at your destination.
I, for one, have decided that I am going to start using my travel time to...stop.
So, if you ever need to get a hold of me, try my cell phone. If I don't answer it, it's because I'm driving...or I just don't want to talk to you.
P.S. This blog entry was written while safely stopped on the side of the road.
Have a good one,
Remember, boo and hiss all you want (it is fun after all) but always keep a proper perspective. Survivor Russell isn't a true villain...he's entertainment. Extreme poverty is a real villain. Become a real hero. Help defeat extreme poverty!
Have a good one,
Yes! The first season. The VERY first season. Richard, Sue, Rudy, Jenna, Gervase, Colleen...the whole gang. I haven't seen that since it first aired...nine years ago! I handled the DVD case like it was a delicate family heirloom.At 6:30pm, we tossed that baby into the DVD player and began our Mini-Survivor Marathon. For the next 3-1/2 hours, Nostalgic Survivor intertwined with Present-day Survivor. We watched Episode 1 and part of Episode 2 until 8:00pm, when the regularly scheduled program started. An hour later, we picked up where we had left off by finishing Episode 2, Episode 3...and even part of Episode 4. Then the party ended.
That got me thinking. After 40 blog entries...I wonder if people will understand me?
To find out, I went back over my writings to see what kind of self-portrait I have painted over the last two months.
With today's blog being #40, leaving the picture not quite completed, I decided that I would put on the finishing touches, by way of summary.
Here are 34 quotes that summarize my first 40 blogs:
Quotes from Timmy's Mind
Save sarcasm. Delete the happy face emoticon.
Whoever says Baseball is just a game...has never played the sport.
Celebrity makes even the ugly attractive.
I'd rather have lots of crumpled $100 bills than one of exceptional quality.
Computers wouldn't have made the 19th Century any easier, because there was no where to plug them in.
I wouldn't want to be 17 again, but I'd love to have my 17-year old body back.
The Boyle Nose is my badge of honour.
People who write LOL, when they're not really LOLing are liars...and we all know where liars go!
A successful parent not only teaches their children, but is also willing to learn from them.
I married my princess! It doesn't get any better than that.
The Good Life: A 90 degree jaw line, the ability to sing bass and a cupboard full of sandwich bags.
Doing nothing is something, when "doing nothing" means spending time with your child.
There is no such thing as a bad joke. If it's not funny...it's not a "joke".
Judges. Can't live with them. Can't live without them.
The Boy Scouts gave us "Be Prepared". The Girl Guides gave us cookies. Guides 1 Scouts 0.
Just because you're allowed to buy a Speedo, doesn't mean you're allowed to wear one.
Formal education is a great thing...if you want to be bored silly.
"Regret" is just "Life Lesson" spelled backwards.
The difference between a SIDEkick and a PSYchic is that one is a corny side-show and the other hangs out with super heroes.
Survivor is the best show on television...even without Elizabeth.
Here's a brilliant idea: Let's make no provision to correct mistakes and then Auto-save mistakes!
The whole-hearted support of a wife for her husband: Priceless.
A relic from the past is cooler than any invention from the future.
Voice Recognition technology would be great, if only it would recognize the words that your familiar voice was speaking.
How do you spell "Super-Competitive": P N E U M O N I A
The perfect gift for your coffee-addicted loved one: A Tim Horton's IV Drip.
Iron sharpens Iron. Too bad the present edition of the Leafs & Canadiens are both made of glass.
No more successful managers should die at the hands of under-performing players.
Beware the "Woo".
Grey hair is a sign of wisdom...and "Wisdom" is Greek for "old age".
Anyone know where I can find myself a Super Fan?
I'm thankful for turkey, family, turkey and...did I already say turkey?
The question that drives me: "What is Miley Cyrus having for lunch"?
Well there you have it: "Timmy's Mind: The first 40". But before I wrap up, I'd like to leave you with one final quote (not from me).
"Life begins at 40".
That means I'm just getting started!
Thanks so much for visiting Timmy's Mind. I hope you've enjoyed reading my thoughts, as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Here's to many more entries in the future!
And if you've got some extra time, check out some of the past entries, which these quotes were based on. It'll help you understand me even more...and maybe even bring a smile to your face!
Have a good one,
Okay, so the trees are only covered with five of the seven colours of the rainbow. Which, on second thought, isn't that impressive. I mean, that's only 71.43% of the rainbow's colours. In Canada, 71% is good for a B-minus. With a mark like that, the supposed, "stunning beauty" of Autumn is really, nothing more than, the provincial standard...with much room for improvement.
But, really, who am I to criticise nature for a B-minus. I stopped getting 71's in grade 10. Then again, I'm not comparing nature to me. With this information, I now declare the "Leaves in Fall versus Rainbow" debate, officially...over! Rainbow wins.
Now, I'm not here to talk about something so frivolous as "leaves". I'm here to talk...Turkey! That's right. Turkey! So, let's talk turkey about turkey!
And, if you don't know what the phrase "talk turkey" means...look it up. I'm not about to define everything I write...which means that I'm not going to tell you what things mean.
Now, please understand, when I say we're going to talk about turkey, I'm not talking, "Three strikes in a row" Turkey, or "Failed theatrical production" Turkey. No. I'm talking "Gobble gobble" Turkey. I'm talking that "Quirky little bird that is so yummy in my tummy" Turkey. That's the turkey I'm talking about!
But, when I'm talking about that turkey, I'm not talking, "Vacuum sealed-preservative laden-sliced" Turkey. No. When I'm talking about that Turkey, I'm talking "Gravy-stuffing-mashed potatoes-buttered rolls-cranberry sauce-corn on the cob" Turkey. That's the turkey I'm talking about!
I'm talking "Turkey". "Big time turkey dinner with all the fixings" Turkey! MmmmHmmm!
So, this being Thanksgiving (in Canada), it was obviously a very special weekend. But not simply because I had Turkey, but because it marked the first of what will be, at least, four turkey dinners over the span of 83 days. That's right. Four turkey dinners! At least! That is a one turkey dinner every 21 days...every 504 hours...every 30240 minutes. That is awesome!
I just had my October turkey dinner, next I'll be having one in November, with another one in December and then...even one in January! That is four straight months of Turkey! And, seeing as February to September is lacking such a glorious treat, I am now entering "Turkey Time", which is, nothing less than, "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!"
Now, being as this weekend was Thanksgiving, I didn't want to just focus on Turkey. I really do want to take a moment to share with you, the things that I am most thankful for...other than Turkey. So,
I am thankful that I am Canadian. It is truly an honour to be a citizen of this great country that celebrates Thanksgiving...with turkey dinners! October Turkey!!!
I am thankful that my mother is American. Each year, her heritage has enabled me to be double thankful as I celebrate the U.S. Thanksgiving...with all the fixings! November Turkey!!!
I am thankful for Christmas...a time to give generously to those we love, and then gather around the table for...December Turkey!!!
And lastly, I am thankful for each new year that dawns. The hope that lies ahead and...the turkey that lies on our New Years Day dinner table! January Turkey!!!
I would like to close with these immortal words from Mr. Carlson of WKRP in Cincinnati:
"As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly."
Hope you had a very Happy Thanksgiving!
Go here to watch what may be the funniest Thanksgiving moments in TV history! A Classic!Have a good one,
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Not old old, mind you. I mean, I still have all my teeth and don't find Bingo all that exciting. But, in general, grey hair is a sign of significant accumulation of years.
I have been alive for over three and a half decades. I find that weird. I am presently living in my fourth calendar decade...and about to pass into my fifth. Birthed in the 70's, shaped by the 80's, confused by the 90's, greyed by the 00's (I don't know how to say that) and who knows what the 10's have in store for me. Probably Arthritis.
But, depending on who you believe, I'm not even half way through my life. According to the CIA (who, based on an uncanny similarity in their stats, apparently get their information from Wikipedia) I should live 78.69 years. This puts my death - taking into account Leap Years - around Mar. 28, 2052...late evening. If your Jewish that would be the during the years 5812-5813, Buddhist the year 2596 and Islamic between 1474-1475. And, if you happen to follow Unix Time it will fall somewhere between 2587680000 and 2619302399.
Regardless...It's a Thursday. Sadly, I might miss that evenings episode of Survivor 104! Anyways, mark that day on your calendars. Actually circle the Monday. April 1st would be a great day to have my funeral.
But circle it in pencil, because Statistics Canada doesn't even think I'll get that far. They say I'll only live 78.4 years. My own country is short changing me three and half months. So, just a heads up to all my friends and family...You might not get Christmas presents from me in 2051.
The United Nations says I won't live beyond 78.3 years! There's another month gone. But, if anyone knows for sure, it's the United Nations. Figuring out life expectancy is what they spend most of their time doing...along with listing the nicest countries to live in.
Then, there is one particular Facebook application that says I'll make it to "Between 75 and up". Now, I'm not sure this one is very scientific though, because the only other possible result was "Between 75 and down".
And what if they mean Draconic years...or even Lunar years. That could shave up to 5 months off my expected Gregorian life span.
Regardless, I figure I have, at the very least, 39 more years...if all goes well. By "going well" I mean that I don't start smoking, I don't have to stay in any Super 8 Motels and I manage to keep myself out of the path of rampaging axe murderers.
In fact, what I really need to do is convince my family to move to Iceland, because if the stats are right...the fountain of youth abides amongst the Nordic people. That move would buy me another couple of years...which I'd probably just use up during my first skiing expedition. So maybe I'll just stay where I am, dye my hair and see what happens.
Of course, why bother with the dye. There is always a chance, that those wacky Mayans were right and in 2012...we're all done anyways. Grey hair or not.
Have a good one,