idioms with a "t" - instead of an "m"

Today, I'm feeling a little under the weather.

What a stupid saying. "Under the weather". What does that even mean? How can someone be "under" the weather? It's impossible. If I was feeling healthy, I wouldn't tell you that I'm "over the weather". That would sound silly.

"Under the weather" is what is called an idiom. And, in most cases, "idiom" should be spelled with at "t" instead of the "m".

Here are my thoughts on some other really dumb sayings:

"Get your just deserts" - Now, if this was only used in a positive sense, then it wouldn't be on the list. However, more often than not, it is used as a threat. "Hey, don't do that 'bad' thing or you'll get your just deserts".

The only person that threat would ever deter was a dead person. I mean, who doesn't love desert. And, if someone told me that I'm going to get "just" desert...I'm thinking, "Sweet! Bring it on!" A better option might be "get your just vegetables". Then, maybe I'll think twice.

"Say the word" - What word? "I'm ready to start whenever you say the word." What is this magical word that brings about action? Is the word, "start", "go"..."now"? The answer, is all of the above...and a whole lot of other words. Actually, I don't think it really matters what word is said. You could say "sheep" and probably warrant a response. In fact, I don't even think you need to "say" a word to "say the word". I've seen a nod of the head do the trick. Apparently, saying "breath" would be just as effective. And make more sense.

"Smarty pants" - Whoever came up with this idiom is a "Dummy pants". It's meant to describe a person who is being a "show off, know it all". But connecting pants to the intellect is plain silly...except in the case of people who insist on wearing over-sized, baggy jeans that have to be constantly pulled up. That's just not cool...or bright.

My son had smarty pants once. A box of those coloured chocolates had melted in his pocket. I quickly pointed out that chocolate mixed with heat brings about a melting effect. Mr. Smarty Pants I am.

"Cost an arm and a leg". How expensive is an arm and a leg? Well, recently someone told me that they were looking at a large screen TV, which was going to cost exactly that. So, apparently, the going rate for "an arm and a leg" is about $2,496 plus tax.

The obvious flaw in this idiom is that we have no way to know how much an individual arm or leg would cost, which renders comparison shopping almost impossible.

However, after doing some research, here's what I do know. At Walmart, one arm and one leg can buy you a 52" LCD HDTV. If you chose, instead, to purchase two Electric Scooters - with helmets - you'd probably get a knee back as change.

And, if you really wanted to go big, you could enjoy a 1999, new beetle, hatchback with 141,000 Km. Of course, to make that deal, you'd have to render yourself completely limbless...so it may not be the best trade off.

"Hot potato" Everyone wants to avoid the "hot potato". It is one of many dangerous topics which, as a result of the heated debates that rise from it, inevitably, causes families, communities and nations to crumble.

Now, I have actually touched a hot potato before. It was fresh from the oven, with the foil still wrapped around it. I will not lie...it was definitely hot. But it certainly wasn't hot enough to send me into the fetal position every time I saw a potato.

Surely, to describe such sensitive issues, someone could have come up with a more "feared" item than the potato...hot or not. Try "mother-in-law".

"Ride the gravy train". EW! I've heard someone say, "If only I was rich, then I'd be riding the gravy train!" Well, if I was rich...I wouldn't. That's gross. How in the world did riding a train of gravy become a symbol of luxury. Let the poor slop around in the gravy.

Now, I understand the importance of making achievable goals, and all, but gravy being the ultimate success story? You might as well just call it the "plum sauce" train. A nice extra...but not where I hope to settle.

Of course, it could be that the phrase is just trying to compare the "smooth flow of gravy" with the "ease of living"...if so, the person who coined this idiom had miraculously never experienced the lumpy gravy, that has marked many a meal, in my lifetime.

Well, there you have it. Some idioms with a "t".

You know, idioms are an interesting topic. When I started writing about them, I was banging my head against a brick wall, but then the words just flowed like a river and it ultimately turned up roses. As a result, I've turned 180 degrees and feel like a million dollars.

Have a good one,
Timmy