Wednesday, December 2, 2009

30 days and counting...

It’s December.

That’s crazy.

December 1st has come and gone, with the end of 2009 closing in fast. That’s right. 2010 is right around the corner. The countdown has begun. 30 days left. What to do…what to do.

Here in the early morning of December 2nd, I am trying to decide how to best spend the remaining days of 2009.

Dec. 1 – Write fictional schedule for blog.

Dec. 2 – Post blog…as if I just wrote it this morning.

Dec. 3 – Condense and begin my “New Year’s Resolution” daily exercise program...for 2009. It’s never too late to start.

Dec. 4 – Go to Bob Newhart concert. Hope Ben Stiller changes his mind, last minute.

Dec. 5 – Use Tim Horton’s gift card to pick up their new “Coffee IV Drip”, for my wife.

Dec. 6 – Write my Christmas wish list: 1) A wickedly sharp jaw line, 2) The vocal chords of a bass singer and, 3) Sandwich bags.

Dec. 7 – Drive to Ohio to visit the Christmas Story house. Gotta pick up a leg lamp.

Dec. 8 – Go to Ikea to buy a living room set to match the lamp.

Dec. 9 – Happily go to Great Wolf Lodge…with tears in my eyes!

Dec. 10 – Sadly, leave Great Wolf Lodge…with tears in my eyes!

Dec. 11 – Send Christmas gift to Alyssa Milano. Not sure what it’ll be, but I’m thinking…my heart.

Dec. 12 – Finally decide whether I’m going to attend the Facebook event “Christmas”. There’s almost 900,000 people confirmed, but I’m leaning towards declining. That’s gonna be swine flu heaven.

Dec. 13 – Wear Santa outfit while on Hall Monitor duty. The “nice” people will get a candy cane; the “naughty” ones will kiss the floor.

Dec. 14 – Send urine sample to the lab. Doctor’s orders. What a Scrooge.

Dec. 15 – Send Christmas gift to Kirsten Dunst. The Christmas Spirit made me do it.

Dec. 16 – Hang up Connor’s sign for Santa: “Meree Krismuhs Santuh!” I hope Mr. Claus learned Phonics.

Dec. 17 – Brush Teeth

Dec. 18 – Write Christmas newsletter. This year I’m sending it via Twitter. “Merry Christmas to all my friends and family. The Boyle family has experienced so many fantastic things in 2009; here is some of our favou

Dec. 19 – Go watch my sister in a Christmas play. This year she’s the baby Jesus.

Dec. 20 – Watch Survivor Finale. I hope Elisabeth wins.

Dec. 21 – Go to mall to get picture taken with Santa. Hope Ben Stiller changes his mind, last minute…oh, wait he’s Jewish.

Dec. 22 – Dust off shot gun. Some people cut down their own Christmas tree. I hunt my own Christmas dinner. “Here, turkey, turkey, turkey!”

Dec. 23 – Watch the Christmas classic, Die Hard.

Dec. 24 – Go Christmas shopping.

Dec. 25 – Open my present. Nobody ever reads my list…it’ll probably a Speedo (again).

Dec. 26 – Return my gift.

Dec. 27 – Take down Christmas tree. Decorate for Valentines.

Dec. 28 – Put away baseball equipment. Chance of a surprise pick-up game, any time soon, is well below 40%

Dec. 29 – Submit application to be host of The Oprah Winfrey Show in 2011. Want to get in early, just in case. Dare to dream!

Dec. 30 – Visit a psychic to see how my new year looks. Not gonna make an appointment…surely they know I’m coming.

Dec. 31 – At 8:00pm, turn all the clocks ahead, so they say midnight, wish my family “Happy New Year” and go to bed.

Have a good one,
Timmy

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