Friday, January 15, 2010

Am I too competitive? NO!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I am mentally exhausted. I am emotionally drained. I can not go on like this much longer. I am done fooling around. It is time to get some answers.

My competitive spirit is itching for the announcement of an “undisputed” champion and it will not rest until an arm is raised in victory! I simply must know…

Is Alyssa Milano wittier than I?

One would think that my little poll would have settled it, but it didn’t. Thanks very much to all who have voted, but the “battle of wits” still feels very…unfinished.

So, after a week of sleepless nights, I have begun taking steps to find rest for my soul.

Here is the letter that I have just sent to Esquire magazine:

Dear Esquire Magazine,

I recently came across an archived article, in your magazine, written by actress Alyssa Milano. Being pleasantly surprised by her wit, I felt compelled to write a complimentary piece.

It was quite obvious that Alyssa was good, but now I needed to know if she was "Timmy" good. So, it quickly became a little thing I like to call The Literary Duel, which I put to a public vote.

As of today, I am presently leading in the polls. But, seeing as it is my personal blog and the sample size is so small, I will admit that it has not been as satisfying as I had hoped.

It is clearly not a definitive victory, and in the arena of writing, I simply must know “Who’s the boss?”

Therefore, I would like to propose a re-match…in a different venue and with a bigger crowd. Would you consider hosting such a challenge?
“Canadian, ‘stay at home’ dad, Timmy Boyle vs. Hollywood actress, writer Alyssa Milano. The pen is mightier than the sword. May the best wit win!”

You pick the topic, Milano and I duel it out and I, regardless of the outcome, finally find absolute closure.

If I win, Alyssa gets me an autographed photo of Tony Danza; if she wins, I send her an autographed photo of me…or something like that (we can work out the details later).

Please seriously consider this request,
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Tim

If I don’t hear from Esquire, then I go elsewhere…Stay tuned.

*To read the Literary Duel click here

Have a good one,
Timmy

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