Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What a dumb question!

I’m not going to lie. I find people…well…irritating. There is simply too many of them that seem to say things that seem to be completely void of any logical thought process.

You may have heard the rumour going around, that goes like this:

“A wise man once said, ‘There’s no such thing as a dumb question.’”

Really? No such thing as a dumb question? Let me tell you something. If that rumour is true…then there is such thing as a dumb wise man!

Because, that’s absolutely ridiculous. People ask me dumb questions all the time, and I have no patience for them…at all!

I remember, sitting down for a nice relaxing dinner in a local Toronto restaurant, when my waiter walked up to our table and said, “Good evening sir. Can I get you something?”

“Can I get you something?” What kind of question is that for a waiter to ask? I mean, what did he expect me to say? So, I looked up at him and said, “No thanks. Just show me where the kitchen is and I’ll get it myself.”

He’s my waiter for goodness sake! Of course he can get me something. It’s his job to get me something.

People shouldn’t ask questions like that, but they come from everywhere. Even though my home town of Toronto may be a breeding ground for the Asinine Flu, “Cluelessness” is clearly a nation-wide epidemic.

Some time ago I was in Calgary. I went into a 7-11 to buy some Tylenol – which is my custom on days that I’ve run into people.

And, on this particular day, the people I had come across had absolutely drained me. I was not only feeling horrible, but I was looking horrible. My eyes were all red, my face was pale, my lips were dry and cracked and my hair was all dishevelled.

But when I stumbled up to the counter, the cashier looked at me and smiled. Flashing his big ol' toothless grin, he then hollered out, into my already ringing ears, “Hey there! How y’all doing today?!”

Now, first of all, I need to address the “y’all”. Y’all? Folks…I was alone. Who’s the “all”?

Secondly, was this guy not paying attention? I mean really, I’m buying Tylenol and I look sicker than that guy Edward from the Twilight movies.

It was clearly a decision-making moment on my part. I could do what comes incredibly natural and confront this man’s inner twit. Or, being a Christian, I could do what Jesus would do. But, since I couldn’t think of a clear passage of Scripture that talked about Jesus buying Tylenol in Calgary…I don’t know what He would do.

So, with a clear conscience, I looked the man in the eyes and said, “I…we…are all doing marvellous! In fact, I don’t even need the’s an impulse buy. After all, is there anything more exhilarating than feeling like you’re being poked in the eye over and over and over again? Is there? Have you ever experienced such joy?!”

And he hadn’t.

So...not wanting to rejoice alone.

I poked him in the eye.

Y'know. Dealing with people would be so much easier if it didn’t involve people.

That is all.

Have a good one,


  1. I, too, suffer from the annoyance of stupid questions. I think it's a pandemic. We Americans seem to have it pretty badly, too. If only someone could come up with some sort of vaccination for those stupid questions...

  2. This is cool! this is really funny. You have a talent here Timmy. I find some stupid questions annoying and sometimes hilarious.

  3. JAMIE: I think it was Albert Einstein who once said, "There are two things infinite in the world: The universe and human stupidity". And, he wasn't sure about the universe...

    TM: Thanks. Much appreciated.


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