Tuesday, January 12, 2010

What a pain!

Ow.

When I read those letters my heart overflows with gratitude, because they immediately make me think of …phonics, and without phonics I would be a spelling disaster.

For those who didn’t have the privilege of being taught Phonics, “ow” makes the sound “ow”, like you would find in words such as, cowch, sowr and bowt.

I know it seems simple, but it took me a while to pick it up. However, now that I’ve finally ingrained the system into my mind…I am a spelling masheen!

After some more reflection, I began to notice that “ow” is also very similar to the word “ou”, which is often used to express payne. Examples being, “Ou, that hert!” or “Ou, that fork is stuck in my hed”.

In Phonics, they both sound the same, even though they have different spellings. It’s kind of funny in its own crazy way. So crazy in fact, my spell check can’t seem to tell them apart.

So since these little red lines, that keep appearing all over my page, are driving me nuts, I will now spell “ou” (the sound of payne) “O-W”. Yes, I understand that proper spelling is important, but so is one’s personal sanitee.

Anyways, enough about Phonics. Let’s talk pain.

Everyone has experienced The “Ow”. It is no respecter of persons. Whether you are rich, poor, strong, weak, smart, dumb, famous or not, you are guaranteed to have an “Ow” moment, or two…or three…thousand!

It is simply an unavoidable aspect of human life. The “Ow” happens!

Now, although there are many levels of The “Ow” (ranging from “ow” to “ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…ow!”), I have decided not to focus my attention on hangnails and spilled milk, but rather on The “Ow” of “Ows” in three areas of an individual’s life: The Physical, Mental and Emotional.

By way of word picture, I hope you will feel these ultimate “Ow” moments.

Physical

What a rush! Here I am free falling 10,000 feet above the earth. How crazy is that! It’s so exciting my adrenaline is pumping faster than Santa’s reindeer on Christmas. I’m free as a bird! I’m actually flying! Oh how I wish this could on forever, but it’s time to pull the chute. Hmmm. What did they say again? Was it the red cord or the blue cord? Red is for emergency, so it must be blue. Yes, it was the blue cord…or was it red? Righty tighty, Lefty loosey. No, it was definitely blue. Got it! Pull the…

Ow!

Mental

When the molecules of the indefinite article begin to bond with gaseous transforming mites, the spectrum of inexistence is sheered, leaving nothing but an electrical shock equal to that of a stratus meteor fully charged by the ions of cumulus clouds after a nuclear dip in the iodonic esoteric module of precipitation and solar imminence.

To counteract such a fusion of pure energetic flatulence, it is of crucial and indelible importance that the expanse of space that holds the conspicuous viral excerpts be in direct proportion, both in mass and volume, to the sum total off the superlative cortex of the indirect fascination of time…

Ow!

Emotional

Dear Jim,
I have spent many weeks wondering if I should write this letter. As you know I have experienced many deep hurts in the past, as a result of my openness. But, with you, I once again feel safe. I don’t know if I will ever meet anyone like you again. You have been my strength, my encouragement…my knight in shining armour! Thank you for being there for me during some of my darkest days. Jim…I love you! More than you’ll ever know! I really want to take our relationship to the next level.
Always and forever,
Susie

Dear Susie.
Who are you?
Jim

Ow!


Well there you have it. What exactly? I'm not sure. But like my mother always used to say, "If you have nothing encouraging to say, write a blog about the word Ow."

Have a good one,
Timmy

2 comments:

  1. Seeing as I'm a homeschooling mama (does that sound menacing?), that phonics lesson really helped me! I'm now thinking of totally reteaching my third grader the Timmy Boyle system. Good thing I haven't started with my preschooler yet. I won't have to undo years of hard work. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you want a real lesson on Phonics, check out "FOH-NIKS": http://timmyboyle.blogspot.com/2009/11/foh-niks.html

    ReplyDelete

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