Thursday, September 9, 2010

You Too Can Dance With Brad!

Life is full of twists and turns.

I woke up this morning with a plan and it was unfolding perfectly until a horrifying reality spun my day in a completely different direction.

1. Wake up…
Check

2. Fall out of bed…
Check

3. Splash water on face…
Check

4. Stumble down stairs…
Check

5. Eat Froot Loops
“Hey, where are the Froot Loops?!”

It is moments like these that cause me to seriously ponder things like life, death and the allure of Jersey Shore.

Four minutes later, with the reflection complete, I had come to realize that life is more than Froot Loops (although not by much), death is inevitable (so why worry) and the fascination with a car wreck is an eerie, but real phenomenon (if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em).

Invigorated and inspired by this fresh perspective, I cheerfully filled up a bowl with Corn Flakes (and really…who does that?) then reached for the daily paper to read about the beautiful, purposeful and awe-inspiring things that are happening throughout our world - in particular, the world of Snooki.

Abuse…
Lawsuit…
Murder…
Assault…
Drug Deal…

Onto page 2

Vandalism…
Shooting…
Drug Overdose (and we’re not even to Snooki, yet)…
Global Warming…
Animal Cruelty…

BINGO!

People are renting celebrity look-a-likes!

That’s awesome. Some of the “big” names (Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts and, most likely, Snooki) are booked up to three months in advance! Now, no offence to those who want to be seen with a fake celeb, but I have no desire to have faux-Alyssa Milano on my arm…nor does my wife, for that matter.

However, my wife does desire that I make money, so I am definitely not going to let this little gem of an opportunity pass me by.

After all, if you’ve got…sell it.




brad-pitt-look-a-like


Of course, if you wanted to hang out with fake Timmy Boyle (which would be more likely), you could always rent Brad.  I'm sure he'd be a little easier on the budget.

Anways, all of this leads us very nicely to another article I found of equal importance.

Apparently, a European study has revealed that men who, while dancing, move their necks and trunks more to the beat of the music are the most likely to attract women!

First of all, God bless those men and women who have invested their time, energy and resources so that we can have this information. I, for one, will not let their sacrifice be in vain.

Secondly, I used the phrase “first of all” without actually having a second point.

Anyways, for all the ladies out there, here’s a little more Timmy (with special guest, Steve):



You’re welcome.

Have a good one,
Timmy

4 comments:

  1. Your mind is a terribly scary place to be, Tim! ROFL (I'm trying to control myself....**eye roll**) :D

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  2. Just work on the eyebrows, Timmy - you've ALMOST got it. hehe

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  3. those mooooves just might help bring the cows in faster. I can see it now - we'll put up big screen TVs in the lot and when it's time to milk, we'll put it on and they'll come running. It ought to make us some real good money if we can get them through faster. Another job well done Timmy. I thank you, Farmer thanks you and the BEBs thank you.

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  4. You're bustin' out some move there B.P.L.A!

    ReplyDelete

From your mind to my mind:

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