Thursday, October 7, 2010

Happy Birthday H

My wife (we’ll call her H) is a very special woman.

Now, you might be wondering why I am referring to her by a simple letter. Well, my wife has requested, for privacy reasons, not to be named in these public forums. So, out of respect, I simply use H instead of Heidi.

Today, I’ve chosen to use this space in order to honour her publicly through the power of the written word. “Why today?” you ask. Well, today is a very special day for my very special wife.

Today is H’s birthday. And, if I remember correctly, her birthday fell on October 7th last year, as well.

When you’re married it is very important to remember these sorts of things. If you’re a husband, you simply can’t let certain dates pass by, un-acknowledged…especially if you want to stay married.

Dates like your Wedding Anniversary, your Wife’s Birthday and Garbage Day are at the very top of that list.

Garbage Day is usually a weekly occurrence so it’s less easy to forget. But for the others you really need to stay alert. With a whole year (or so) in between celebrations it is easy to get complacent. Although 365 days may seem like a long time, if you’re not paying attention that next big day can sneak up on you faster than Gargamel on a lost Smurf.

Now, this particular birthday is even more important than normal. Am I on the ball, or what?! Today's birthday is the big 1-0. Yep, that’s right. One. Zero. It’s hard to believe really. Where has the time gone?

If you’re thinking I married a minor, you’d be wrong. I’m not talking age. I’m saying that today H and I are celebrating Heidi’s birthday for the 10th time since we’ve been married...and I haven’t missed a single one.

Wait. Hold on. Something doesn’t feel right. Give me a second while I talk this through…

We got married in September, 2000, so we celebrated H’s birthday, for the first time, in October, 2000 (probably on the 7th) and then celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary in September, 2001 (definitely on the 1st…or 2nd). This would mean that our 2nd birthday celebration happened just after our 1st wedding anniversary…which would then make everything, at least numerically, one year apart even though it’s only one month apart.

Then, if we stagger that through the next few years, even though we just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary, we’re technically in our 11th year. So, this birthday celebration is actually the 11th time we’ve celebrated H’s birthday. But, if that’s true then the big 1-0 was last year. What did we do last year? Did I miss the big 1-0? Oh…crap. Are you serious? I’ve been planning for this day for 10 years. I wanted the 10th time we celebrated H’s birthday to be simply amazing!

So what did I do last year? Maybe it was amazing? No. I think I just got her flowers ‘cause it was only the 9th birthday celebration…not the 10th...even though it was the 10th. This is not good. What do I get her now?

Well, seeing as today is the 11th time we celebrate Heidi’s (I mean H’s) birthday and not the 10th. I guess…

Flowers it is!

I’ll go all out on the 20th birthday celebration, which should happen around Oct. 7, 2020. Or is it 2011?

Let’s see…

…We got married in September, 2000…


  1. Well T (code name for Timmy) for your wife, living with you all these past however many years, I am sure she feels like it's been way more than 10 or 11. I'm thinking one year in normal life is more than likely 3.76 years in Timmy life. So therefor if it has been 10 years, it has felt like 30.76 years for H. Now if it has been 11 years, then it has been 41.36 years. Whether 10 or 11 or 77 that woman deserves more than puny posies I'd say. Bring out the big guns - flowers, dinner and a $100.00 gift card to her favorite place to shop. To top it all off, how about a trip to Michigan to a dairy farm!!!!!

  2. Thanks for reminding me about the garbage!

  3. Random: So I should return the posies?

    Sally: You are welcome, but please don't expect weekly reminders.

  4. Just my opinion, but jewels sparkling in amongst the posies would really pop. A bouquet of daisies and diamonds, or orchids and opals, or roses and rubies (oooh - that one's color coordinated even!).

    My husband hasn't forgotten a birthday either - and we've celebrated twice as many. I, on the other hand, am notorious for shouting Happy Birthday! and running to give him a kiss when the phone rings and I see his mom's name on the caller ID.

  5. H was up for sainthood nine (or ten) years ago.

  6. Cat: Roses and Rubies was for year 8.
    Lisa: I think you left out the "e" in "He".

  7. But I hafta say--you are mighty quick on your feet!


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