The Baby Whisperer (Repost)

*If you have a favourite post from the vault, let me know in the comments and I'll resurrect it on a future Flashback Friday*

This Flashback was requested by Michelle L.  Enjoy!

The Baby Whisperer

Original Post Date:

Jan. 11, 2010

So, I learned something pretty cool on Friday and it’s life-changing really.

As much as I wanted to keep the information for myself I realized how selfish that would be, so today I will reveal it to you.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is official…babies make sounds.

Yep. They do.

And, apparently from mud huts to downtown condos, it is true of babies all around the world.

Now, if you need to take a moment to catch your breath do it now, because that’s not all.

Babies make sounds that…wait for it…mean something!

Uh huh. That’s right. They talk.

It’s just that, like Dolphins, I have no idea what their saying!

But Priscilla Dunstan does. Well, I’m not sure about dolphins, but she is fluent in baby talk. She’s the Baby Whisperer! (That’s not really her moniker. I just made it up.)

Apparently, with her super-photographic memory of sounds, this lady traveled the globe, studying little ones and the curious utterings they produce. What she discovered was that all babies say five main words: Neh, Eh, Eairh, Heh and Owh.

She has since marketed a DVD called, “What ‘chu talkin’ about Willis?” (Actually, it’s called, “The Dunstan Baby Language”), which trains people to hear these five words...making their parenting experience that much easier.

In fact, it makes such a dramatic difference that, on the website, one lady said, “I fell like I want another child because of this.”

Really? C’mon. Learning how to understand baby talk may be cool, and all, but it’s not like she found the secret to making them sleep through the night, walk on their own and stop pooping themselves.

“Hey, how’s parenting going?”

“AWESOME! I haven’t slept in three weeks, my arms and shoulders are numb and I’ve got poop under my fingernails, but…I know what my baby is saying! It’s heaven!”

So, what exactly do the babies say? Well, here they are…in no particular order of importance:

“Neh” means, “I’m hungry”
“Eh” means, “I need to be burped”
“Eairh” means, “I have gas”, and
“Owh” means, “I’m tired”

Then there’s “Heh”. I like “Heh”. It means, “I’m uncomfortable”. It pretty much includes everything…including being hungry, having gas and being tired.

It’s important to always have a catch-all.

The baby could have an itch, a splinter, or a ruptured kidney and “Heh” will cover it. I don’t know about you but doesn’t crying create that same sort of ambiguous reality?

This whole scenario would make a great television drama series.

The following scene is from the, soon to be pitched to Fox series, “The Baby Whisperer”:

Scene: Its early afternoon, in a rustic farm house, somewhere in middle America. A young mother is quietly washing dishes, when she is startled by her three-month old child:

“Heh”

“Lil’ Billy? How’d you get here?”

“Heh”

“You rode the dog? I see, but where’s your brother?”

“Heh”

“Timmy’s in danger!?”

“Heh”

“He’s stuck in well?”

“Heh”

“Down at the old Jones Farm?”

“Heh”

“I’ll go…you stay here and call 911.”


“911 can I help you?”

“Heh”

“Child…Jones Farm...Well…Got it!”

“Heh”

“No…thank YOU!”


Now, tell me that wouldn't make gripping entertainment!

Well, that’s it for now, because “Eiarh!”

Have a good one,
Timmy

*If you have a favourite post from the vault, let me know in the comments and I'll resurrect it on a future Flashback Friday*