Friday, January 21, 2011

Life Saving Tips From My Brain.

Human beings, including myself (despite suspicions I am probably from another planet), seem to possess an innate tendency to assume each hurdle which stands before them, every curve ball life throws and all Gladiators they must fight are problems unique to them.

However, there is a basic fundamental flaw in such thinking. Mainly that hurdles, baseball games and Gladiators haven’t been seen in the same arena since, like…the 60’s.

Understand, I often use that term to refer to any time between the 70’s and Ancient Rome.

Anyways, the less obvious flaw in thinking every battle is a completely new experience is that it’s simply not a true fact of life. There is nothing new under the sun (although the right side may have some surprises for us).

You see, every obstacle we face has been faced by another and every obstacle we face will be faced by another. Do you know what that means? It means, “Every obstacle we face has been faced by another and every obstacle we face will be faced by another.”

And…it means, if each person would be willing to teach the secrets behind their victories as well as the lessons learned from their defeats this world, with all of its hills and valleys, would become easier to navigate.

So, it is time to start using my mind to help others deal with problems they either are facing or, most likely, will face in the future.

Because, despite what my wife says, there is more to me than a great smile, rock hard abs, magnetic charm, cool socks and a wit you could cut through metal with. There is a tonne (give or take 1 kg or 2.2 lbs) of wisdom stored up in this head of mine.

Now, for the sake of full disclosure, bear in mind I’m only 37. So, I’m no Mr. Miyagi…but I’ve been to a few dog and pony shows in my day. Well, one actually…and I still don’t know how that chubby bulldog beat the lean greyhound in the tunnel race. Steroids? I’m just sayin’.

The question remains. What precious gem of insight should I drop into the collective lap of the world first? How can I best help the most people in one shot? What grain of knowledge will produce the most fruit?


How to jump hurdles? Nope. I was a triple-jumper in school. Jump. Hop. Skip. Or was it, Skip, Jump, Hop? Listen, it’s a hard enough task without having to do it some particular order. And, don’t even consider attempting it while chewing gum.

How to hit a curve ball? Ah? Nope. In High School, I couldn’t hit a curve ball if my life depended on it (which at my school was a possible scenario). Of course, I couldn’t hit a fastball either. But I walked a lot because of my great eye…and the pitchers were brutal.

How to fight a gladiator? THAT I know.


…and wait for the principal to save your sorry butt!

More wisdom in the days to come,
Have a good one,


  1. As random (if not more random) as I've ever seen you. Definitely another planet.

  2. tonne - is that supposed to be ton???? Really? Another word to use extra letters? Maybe you should write about the insecurities you harboUr with having to use extra vowels and now consonants. I would be honoUred to hear your explanation.

  3. Well, Random R (if that is your real name)...apparently, the giant you can't defeat is U. Bwa Ha Ha.


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