Thursday, March 24, 2011

My Hair is Fit For Royalty!

The latest “look” to hit the fashion world has been established by the incredibly stunning, and soon to be “Princess”, Kate Middleton.


Her hair is to die for!

Now, even with world-wide disasters of epic proportions surfacing almost monthly, there are only two things I truly fear:

1. Being a tall thin man with a large gut and,
2. Being “fashionably” late

As a result, all my energy is devoted to keeping those two ugly beasts at bay. Sure it may be an obsession, but have you ever seen a six-foot, 160-pound man whose gut is three times his height, wearing pants three decades too late.

I am NOT going to be that guy.

So, while doing 100,000 crunches a day, I do everything humanly possible to live life on the cutting edge of fashion. In fact, most of the time, I’m ahead of the game. For example, at present, I’m the only one on my street wearing parachute pants. Can’t touch this!

But staying hip in the clothing department is easy compared to being down with the latest hair styles.

I mean what if you misread a cultural fashion shift and accidentally pick up something that’s “so yesterday”? No problem. Your wardrobe malfunction, although embarrassing, can be quickly fixed by dropping by the nearest Walmart or other notable clothing shops and simply picking up something that’s “so tomorrow”.

However, if you chop off the timeless mullet because your gut is telling you “The Bieber” will stick around for a while…and you’re wrong.

Well, there is no quick fix.

It’s either endure endless ridicule while waiting for your "girly bob" to grow back out or...you go all Bruce Willis and be called, “Mr. Wanna Be Bruce Willis” for the rest of your life. It becomes a no win situation.

Do you know what we call people who don’t win…

Losers!

And anyone who has seen me workout can tell by the sweat on my brow and the hot pink leg warmers on my calves that I don’t play to lose. I’m a winner. In life…and especially in fashion.

People, when I do my do...I’m not only looking for what’s hot now, I want staying power.  Because quite frankly, I’m not about to do this again:


That’s where research comes in. Which is why, on any given day, in between crunch sets, you’ll probably find me looking through Allure, watching America’s Next Top Model, studying hairstyle flowcharts from the past or sometimes…just hanging out in some nondescript salon trying to get a finger on the pulse of the little people.

It may seem a little intense, but it’s a necessary evil. After all, if I can find time to exercise, I can certainly find time to make sure my head is as attractive as my abs.

What about the princess? Is Kate Middleton’s hair style the next big thing? Oh ya. I’m all over “The Kate”.


And if I’m right, it’ll be the best hair decision I’ve made since sporting...“The Rachel”.


Have a good one,
Timmy

5 comments:

  1. You look LOVELY, Timmy. Absolutely.

    ReplyDelete
  2. not disturbing a bit. not at all. :steps away slowly:

    dunno, Timster, the Kate just looks a wee bit less royal on your shoulders, but I'm no fashionista, nor do my fingers sense any fashionable pulse- like yours.

    just realized you're sporting the other "kate" above.

    as for stopping at wal-mart for the latest trends-- well, my husband would be the first to tell you- it's where buys duplicates of his outdated gear so that he doesn't have to change, ever. he used to have 3 boxes of the same pair of sneakers in his closet. I'm just saying, it has the potential for enabling poor fashion choices-- one might choose a more upscale place like target or kohls, but it should be noted, that's a choice only the truly chic and rich can make.

    thank you for your savvy input on this burgeoning shift in fashion culture.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'll have you know, Lynn, that I once had two boxes of the same Walmart sandals in my closet waiting for the awesome pair I found for $11 to wear out. The last pair is on it's last legs. Erm, feet.

    Tim, I'm shopping for a new do, myself - I'm thinking the Rachel looks best on you, but it's too much work for me. Can you show me something in a short curl?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Joanne...I couldn't have said it better myself.

    D.L...which other Kate? And, all hail "Walmart"

    Cat...I think I may go back to "The Rachel", but I will look into that curl for you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. sorry- I forget to read comment follow-ups... upon closer consideration-- it's not quite the other Kate's, but close-- see here: http://blog.newsok.com/fashionmatters/2009/06/23/tell-all-what-do-you-think-of-kate-gosselins-hair/

    ReplyDelete

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