Monday, June 4, 2012

"Charlize vs. Kristen": The Magic Mirror said WHAT?!

This post will probably offend the following:

- Kristen Stewart, 
- Kristen Stewart's family & friends, 
- Kristen Stewart's fan club, 
- Robert Pattinson,
- The Casting Director for "Snow White and the Huntsman
- People who believe every woman is equally "fair".

Timmy’s Top Ten…
Reasons the Magic Mirror said Kristen Stewart was fairer than Charlize Theron.

  1. “Magic Mirror” is just a stage name. His given name: Robert Pattinson.
  2. Took one too many shots to the frame during his UFC days.
  3. Doesn’t have a thing for supermodel-like women.
  4. The last time he saw Charlize...she was a miner in “North Country”.

     5.  Developed severe cataracts a few years back, but kept it secret lest he be fired. 
     6.  Magic just simply isn’t what it used to be. 
     7.  Reverse Psychololy:  He wanted Snow White dead!
     8.  A case of mistaken identity.  He meant to say the cute muscular girl with the stunning long blond (albeit dirty) hair who is sent to kill Snow White.

     9.  He’s actually just a regular ol’ mirror…and can’t see squat!
   10.  It was a joke, people!  He didn’t think anyone would actually take him seriously. 

Have a good one,


  1. I don't know how to break this to you but you watch the wrong Snow White movie. The one w/ Julia Roberts & Lily Collins was awesome. None of that weird Twilight/North Country stuff. It has a Bollywood ending. 'nuff said I think.

    Good to have you back, Timster.

  2. *watched not watch <--and she calls herself a writer. Ha!

  3. Thanks Lynn!

    I never watch the movie...just readed about it.

    Now, I can suspend belief for transforming robots from other planets and even Ben Affleck playing a superhero...but, Kristen over Charlize. I lost sleep over that.

    Tell others I'm back...much appreciated :)


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