Friday, August 23, 2013

Why is Timmy Boyle is on Social Media?

THIS ENTRY IS IN A BETTER PLACE

To read this entry, and many other greats from the past,
you’ll need to buy a copy of the greatest collection of wit this side of Jupiter.

NOW AVAILABLE!
“INSIDE TIMMY’S MIND”…THE BOOK.
Timmys Book Inside Timmys Mind

ORDER YOUR COPY HERE

READ ABOUT THE BOOK HERE

TIMMY’S MIND IS:
A great gift for any literate person
A must for any coffee table or bathroom basket
A rock solid financial investment.

Monday, August 12, 2013

A Smurfin' Awesome Good Time!

SMURFS 3:  “SMURFIN’ AWESOME”!

I saw a sneak preview for Smurfs 3…and it was “Smurfin’ Awesome”!

Coming Soon Smurfs 3! Starring Timmy Boyle, Alyssa Milano, Brad Pitt, Ben Stiller & Bob Newhart as Papa Smurf

After only two movies the Smurf franchise was turning blue due to lack of oxygen...but with an all new All-Star cast, life has been breathed back in.  Long live the Smurfs!

Not since the Ocean’s trilogy ended in 2007 has there been an ensemble with this much comedic chemistry.  In fact, the repartee between Uber-Cool Smurf (voiced by Brad Pitt) & Insanely Clever Smurf (voiced by Timmy Boyle) is very reminiscent of Danny Ocean & Rusty Ryan of that legendary casino robbing team. 

However, unlike Ocean’s, neither of these men are running this show, because that distinction belongs to Papa “Bob” Smurf (voiced by Bob Newhart).  From the opening scene when “Bob”, in Newhart’s trade mark stutter, rally’s his little troops with “Let’s S-S-S-Smurf…” the audience is already laughing their blue tails off.

Although “Bob” wields the big stick, another Smurf is the glue which holds this group of 3 apple high misfits together.  Playing the classic “sane person surrounded by fools” role is the one who perfected it as Madagascar's Alex the Lion…Mr. Ben Stiller.  Not only does Focker Smurf cause a giggle every time he’s mentioned, but Stiller proves once again he is a straight man with no equals.

And, straight he is.  But, really, who wouldn't be when the spunky blonde bombshell from Brooklyn, Smurfette (voiced by Alyssa Milano) is lounging outside her mushroom every day checking her Twitter feed and perfecting her blue tan.  

Quite frankly, with Boyle, Ben, Bob & Brad…This B movie becomes an A because of Alyssa. 

*SPOILER ALERT*

The story begins with Smurfette getting a call to pose for Maxim.  It had been almost 15 Smurf years since she had been on the cover, so with Papa “Bob” Smurfs blessing she heads to New York.   

But, while picking berries in the forest, Uber-Cool Smurf over hears Evil Sorceror turned Casino owner, Gargamel (played by Andy Garcia) telling his cat Azrael that the Maxim photo shoot is just a ruse to capture Smurfette. 

This news from Uber-Cool spurs Insanely Clever Smurf - who has had a thing for Smurfette since he was a Smurfling – to devise an intricately brilliant plan to break into Gargamel’s Paris-based Casino and steal Smurfette back.

Then the magic happens.  

The action, comedy & dramatic twists that unfold will leave your heart pounding, your eyes watering & your cheeks hurting.  And just when you think the happy singing in Smurf Land is about to resume…the whole plan (despite being intricately brilliant) falls apart.  Uber-Cool Smurf has lost his swagger, Insanely Clever Smurf is baffled, Papa “Bob” Smurf my never walk again & Smurfette is doomed.  Until…Focker Smurf reveals an ace up his sleeve.  

Enter The Penguins.

The frantic pace of the final scene is hilarious, action packed & incredibly satisfying.  When the credits rolled no one wanted to leave the theatre.  Which was a good thing…because if you did, you’d have missed the surprise ending!  

Papa “Bob” Smurf wakes up next to Emily Hartley and discovers the entire experience was a dream.

The audience went nuts! 


Have a good one...and tell your friends.
Timmy

Smurfs 3: Smurfin’ Awesome 
Thumbs Up: 5/5
Rating: R
Running Time: 420 minutes
Release Date: TBD

"Milano looks smurfalicious in blue!" - Maxim Magazine
"Newhart & Stiller will make you smurf 'till it hurts!" - Some guys blog    
 "Timmy & Pitt make a smurfingly brilliant combination!" - George Clooney 

Starring:
Timmy Boyle – Insanely Clever Smurf
Alyssa Milano - Smurfette
Ben Stiller – Focker Smurf
Brad Pitt – Uber-Cool
Bob Newhart – Papa “Bob” Smurf

Other cast in order of appearance:
Hank Azaria - French Smurf, Line Cook Smurf, Hot Dog Vender Smurf, Dog Shampooer Smurf, Barista Smurf, Carnival Ride Operator Smurf, Hay Baler Smurf, Movie Usher Smurf, Black Jack Dealer Smurf, Grocery Store Bagger Smurf, Blogger Smurf, Sewing Machine Mechanic Smurf, Funeral Director Smurf, Tax Collector Smurf, Parking Lot Attendant Smurf, Crossing Guard Smurf, Telemarketer Smurf, Protester Smurf, Data Entry Smurf, Pest Control Smurf, Travel Agent Smurf, Financial Advisor Smurf, Blood Donor Smurf, Random Smurf.  
Andy Garcia - Gargamel
Hugh Jackman - Wolverine
Neil Patrick Harris - Man in suit 
Johnny Depp - Guy wearing white face paint sitting on bus
Tom Hanks - Man on bench eating chocolate
Jennifer Aniston - Girl with friends in coffee shop
Matthew Perry - Guy with friends in coffee shop
Courteney Cox - Girl with friends in coffee shop 
Lisa Kudrow - Girl with friends in coffee shop
Matt LeBlanc - Guy with friends in coffee shop
David Schwimmer - Guy with friends in coffee shop
George Clooney - Cool man with grey hair in the grocery store
Jack Nicholson - Older man wearing sunglasses watching women at the beach
Adam Sandler - as himself
Tom Cruise - Short man jumping on couch
Jim Carrey - Guy talking from his butt
Robert Downey Jr - Actor playing an Australian guy playing a black guy 
Bruce Willis - Bald man in bloody white shirt eating in deli
Nicolas Cage - Man washing his superman cape at the the dry cleaners
Ellen Degeneres - Woman dancing in street
Suzanne Pleshette - Emily Hartley

Friday, August 2, 2013

Timmy vs. The Lawnmower. No Mas! No Mas!

Timmy Boyle is oil.  Lawnmowers are water.  They simply don't mix.

THIS ENTRY IS IN A BETTER PLACE

To read this entry, and many other greats from the past,
you’ll need to buy a copy of the greatest collection of wit this side of Jupiter.

NOW AVAILABLE!
“INSIDE TIMMY’S MIND”…THE BOOK.
Timmys Book Inside Timmys Mind

ORDER YOUR COPY HERE

READ ABOUT THE BOOK HERE

TIMMY’S MIND IS:
A great gift for any literate person
A must for any coffee table or bathroom basket
A rock solid financial investment.

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