Wednesday, July 16, 2014

#timmyandjillian Day 13 - Jillian Michaels Fried My Brain


Today I chose to graduate myself.

The decision to move from Week One to Week Two of Jillian Michaels' “Ripped in 30” was eerily reminiscent of my school days.

First, there was the all-encompassing dread of getting physically beaten up at the next level (experienced from Grades 6-11).

Even though each new school year proved the fear to be based on nothing but an old episode of Leave it to Beaver, I knew today was different. Jillian was about to hurt me for real. She was about to hurt me bad.

Secondly, there was the uncontrollable sobbing for my mommy...BEFORE anything happened (experienced in Kindergarten & from Grades 9-14).

Look, not only is it okay to cry, it's an absolute necessity. I can't remember the exact context but my mother once told me, with great conviction, "If you hold the tears WILL go blind!" Wait, maybe that was for something else. Regardless, after experiencing Week One with Jillian the prospect of a second week would make anyone a little weepy.

Thirdly, there was the extremely tight shorts (worn for a record 17 straight picture days).

Simply put...I've got legs and I know how to use them.

And finally, there was the complete & utter non-existence of any signs indicating I was ready to be advanced forward (Senior Kindergarten & Grades 6, 8, 12 & 14 come to mind).

I had already spent 12 days on Week One & completed the workout seven times. Ready or not, if I wanted to be ripped, I knew I couldn't stay there forever. As a grown-up I am now able to make mis-guided decisions for myself.

So, I mustered up what little courage I've carried into adulthood, wiped my tears, hiked up my shorts to show a little more thigh & repeated my life mantra...

“I will NOT go blind. I will NOT go blind. I will NOT go blind...”

Good news. I didn't go blind.

However, within the first few minutes I remembered why I never joined an aerobics class. There was so much “left, reach, kick, up, alternate, kick, dip, right, down” happening at such a feverish rate, I think it put me into a brief coma.

When Jillian said, “Repeat!”... brain exploded.

It was intense, but I will be back at it again tomorrow.

“I will NOT go blind. I will NOT go blind. I will NOT go blind...”

Keep on laughin',

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